A users guide

FAMILY FROM HELL:They have about 4 kids and shout abuse at all the players and shout bring back Finnie! The grandkid was once observed chucking up ove Grandma much to everyones amusement!

FANCLUB GIRLIE: Spotted at the Stormforce desk in the period breaks handing over cash for next weeks bus trip. Promises her mum knows all about it. Tends to giggle rather alot. Excessive cosmetics make up for shortness of skirt

GMR SPORT PRESENTER: You can hear him in the press box ... shouting into his microphone "Just minutes to go before kick off and then it'll be ball by puck commentary from our man Andy Costigan!"

BOY SCOUTS: These people should be banned. Most famous for starting a mexican wave during OVERTIME. Its been suggested that Jon Hammond should announce " NO MEXICAN WAVES DURING PLAY ... Keep your eye on the PUCK not TH BOY SCOUTS at all times"

AWAY GAME EXPERT : Typically wears a Sparta Prague or Moscow Dynamo shirt ... and bores anyone within earshot of how he/she supported the team away. Typically he/she DIDNT ... they just bought the shirt mail order!

TEENAGE TART: Alternativel called SNOGGING SUZY by those who pass her in the alcoves snogging any lad who is interested. Usually dressed in either a microskirt or tight leggings she boosts her outline with a low cut tee shirt, underwired bra and lots of make up. Males over the age of 30 who pass her on the concourse can ALWAYS be heard muttering " girls never looked like that when I was 16"

MR ANGRY: A meak and mild chap at home and in the office .. but for some reason explodes with passion at the Storm Shelter!

THE GEOGRAPHY STUDENT(?): Spotted at one of Storm's EHL games and was constantly seeking to impress his friends. One of these friends asked where the Berlin Capitals were from (give us strength!!!!!) and the Geography Student replied "Russia" (You think we make this up .. we dont)

THE FAMILY MAN: He really is okay except when he has his family with him; especially the five year old with an attention span of three seconds, an appetite of an elephant, minimal bladder retention and a high pitched squeel of a voice!. Im hungry, Hello, Im bored, can i go now, Daaaaaaaaad, whats that, Ive spilt my drink, Daaaaaaaaaaaad! Should only be allowed into the Arena into specified blocks (like 206!)

The CORPORATE NIGHT OUT: This lot haven't got a clue, only came for the beer, and will leave at the end of the 2nd cos they dont know there's a 3rd. Watch for the boss trying hard not to look at the Teenage Tart. Behavior more akin to a Xmas party without the tinsel!

PLAYER'S GAL: She's the one with the deep sunken eyes, long jaw line, yankee accent and highly abusive language when her man is boarded. She's seen more hockey games than anyone ... and claims that she's seen more hockey players are highly libellous. Good to get to know for essential gossip ... but dont get too friendly. Otherwise Mr JEALOUS import might have words with you.

GRANDMA: Came along with Junior for one game .. and has come to every game since. She used to watch Wrestling until it died off with World of Sport. Gran will have sneaked in a vacuum flask of cocoa and a couple of knitting needles. Useful when you want a bobbleless bobble hat knitted but cant afford the £12 in the Storm Shop.

VERY POOR: Easily spotted after BUYING a replica shirt ...