Index

This page originally created
11th February 2002
and updated March 24th 2002

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Police on alert after OP Timism outbreakVIRUS OUTBREAK
IN MANCHESTER
City could be sealed off!

 

Health Chiefs in Manchester have announced a state of emergency following a new outbreak of the deadly virus Op Timism in the city. The new cases were discovered at 2000 on Sunday March 24th and cases have been spreading across the metropolis ever since.

"We thought we had beaten the virus with a mass vaccination programme" Manchester's Public Health Commissioner Justin Time told Thunderflash "and we only had a couple of cases since last summer ... with a few cases in the year before that"

"Manchester Royal Infirmary is on alert and the first cases are being treated" Mr Time told us. "so far we've treated around 4000 people who were all suffering from high blood pressure, excessive sweating, sore throats and a belief that their team could win the Superleague Play Off Final. Its really scarey .. they truely believe in their fantasies."

MRI A&E consultant Dr Fred Dibnah told Thunderflash "By eck, its been tuff. But lads n lasses in 'ay and eeeeee have proved 'emselves. We treeeeted wurst cases with "optical shock" equipment .... betwixt thee 'n' me ... we shuved print arrrt of t'league table in front of 'em".

Meanwhile in the depths of Manchester's MEN Arena a small group of men remain hidden from the authorities. They are fully infected .. they believe .... they are convinced they will be the champions. The army are looking for them ...