GC orders belt tightening at the Shelter
Times are tougher at the Storm Shelter this year as Gary Cowan has ordered a review of all expenditure. Players returning to the fold will notice the differences ... whilst the new boys may wonder why stars like Frank Pietrangelo put up with it all.
Last year saw the drivers having a small Ford each ... but this year players are set to share a SMART car with everyone else in their house. The tallest players will sit in the passenger seat, the smaller player will drive, and additional footholds have been placed on the sides for anyone else who wants a lift.
In the all new Storm everyone is equal ... and they all get a bed each in a shared flat. Flats with large rooms will have bunk beds installed to boost the average occupancy to six. Taking a leaf out of the book "Student Landlording for Duffers" hallways will be converted into small rooms.
Players with families will be given the largest room and the choice of one king size double bed or as many bunk beds as required
Players have been given bus passes to cut down on the petrol costs.
Players kit will now be washed and aired just once a season as opposed to twice last year. If you have never been near the dressing room you know what we mean...
Players will be kitted out at Oxfam
Players will be flown home to the nearest airport at the cheapest price. If that means they are on their own from New York so be it
Players will have to buy their own concert tickets seeing as Storm aren't owned by SMG anymore
Players needing massage know where to get them for free ....