How To Run A Hockey Club (Not)

1) First, build your team. Seriously overspend on players' salaries to a degree that the club's current financial performance really can't support and is way beyond the salary cap.

2) Assume that the ISL's control is so poor that they won't notice you've broken the salary cap.

3) Hope that the skills of all these expensive players will bring success, increase the club's popularity, bring in more fans and therefore increase revenue to pay for all the expensive players.

4) Begin the season with a spending commitment beyond the means of the club to support.

5) When things get tight, make economies. These may include -

Not paying players' wages and bonuses
Providing all players with a security chain for their front doors
(they can then keep the bailiffs out, so you don't have to pay rent on their houses)
Not paying for coaches for away matches
(the players have cars, after all)
If any players have their cars repossessed, make them share with those that still have cars. Get company insurance so they can all share the driving.

6) If you can, find some local businessmen to prop up the club to keep it going until the end of the season. (This in no way indicates any long-term commitment to these people by the club or the League).

7) When the season ends with a full trophy cabinet and massive debts, go into receivership. (Do not consider melting the trophies down for their metal, even in a town famous for its ability with smelting metals).

8) When you lose the franchise, apply to join a lower League.

9) If problems arise, assume that a payment of money to the lower League will sort them out.

10) Build a team from no-one at all in four weeks.

11) Amaze yourself at the size of the crowd at games one and two .... then be even more staggered by how many stop coming once they realise the difference between the higher and lower league.

12)Don't worry about lost revenues due to lower ticket prices, lower attendances by fans and lower sponsorship revenue .....

13) Go to stage 5.