The Ice Hockey Superleague has today taken a tough stance against the Newcastle Jesters. ISL Chief Executive Ian "Dont mess with me" Taylor has told the Jester's owners (the Eye Group) that they have until October 17th to pay outstanding monies ... or be thrown out of the League that started at the beginning of September.

"This will really show them who is boss" Mr Taylor told Thunderflash's Kris Firefly. "They need to know that they can't ignore the ISL for months on end or fail to turn up for meetings with the ISL. "

"We have got the Eye Group just where we want them. They have a Franchise that benefitted from a whole year of ISL ownership and management .... and our tough stance is bound to ensure that they write the cheque for the money owed. We believe they can have a team ready to play in the League by Christmas"

"Ice hockey is the fastest growing indoor sport in the country, with businesses eager to purchase franchises for regions where no one has built an arena yet. (*).Why, just this week we have advertised the Cardiff franchise for another new arena that doesn't exist."

"Our wage cap ensures that the standard of player gets better year by year. This is a League thats really going places and you'll soon be seeing alot more of it through the TV deal we want to announce but cant yet because its so top secret the TV company don't want anyone to know about it"

You can write to Ian Taylor at:

The Funny Farm
Optimistic Way

No Ice Hockey in this county shire
IC1 Ono

(*) Quite why no one is eager to buy a franchise in an area like Newcastle where they have an Arena is a mystery of course!

All interviews on this page are entirely made up. We couldn't bring ourselves to actually ring up and ask them what the hell they've all been doing since play off weekend.