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Another made up exclusive interview, this time with the totally imaginary
The PR girl that swears
We've tried countless times to track down Ms Pears for an interview but she's usually been out and about partying, raising the club's profile amongst Mancunian celebrities, that kind of thing. We finally got to see her by convincing her, via a yellow coat's walkie talkie (*), that we were extras on Coronation Street. Before you knew it, we were in Gary Cowan's executive box!
So Amanda, how did it feel to get a job with the Storm?
"It was great. Gary called me and I just F**king screamed. I was so excited ... I knew straight away what needed to be done"
you mean send out press releases, raise the media profile of the sport, make
the fans feel part of the family?
"That's where everyone has gone F**king wrong before. No, what this Bl**dy place needed was a high profile presence in the places that matter. I wanted Me and the players to be seen at the same Gym as Posh n Becks, to be seen with the rich and famous"
Yes, we heard you are great friends with Kid Creole and the "I've not had a hit single for over a decade" nuts?
"How did you hear about that? I've not told a soul .. but its true."
much impact do you think you've had so far?
"We've been to F**King loads of parties and loads of celebs have come to Storm games......."
Do you ever go in the locker room?
"Too bl**dy right I do, any chance I get! Its a bit like when I was a model, did I tell you about that (err, not yet ....) , people wandering around stark naked. I often think some of the players have had their bits enhanced ....
All in all then you've had a good time ... and seen some great hockey?
"Too bloody right ... I've had a great time ... apart from on match nights when there's a game on. God, its so FFF .. boring and the fans just don't understand that its all about.............."
"Yeah that's right. You understand. My friend Kid Creole always says ...."
Sorry Amanda we've got to go .. off to a party ......
"Can I come?"
Any similarity between Amanda Pears and anyone working for the Storm organisation is purely coincidental. If though, by pure chance, someone just like her is working at the Storm office please click HERE to email our head of complaints. His Lawyers and yours already have a good working relationship.
The first law of keeping things confidential : Dont tell anyone. Second law of confidentiallity : Dont tell ANYONE involved in a hockey club! Third law of confidentiality : Dont say anything over a walkie talkie system in a place the size of the MEN Arena. Fourth law of confidentiality : If you've ignored laws 1-3, people get to know. Fifth law of confidentiality : once people know they tell Thunderflash .. and we are so far outside "the loop" if WE know, everyone knows.