Gospel according to
ST DAN OF SHEFFIELD
In the beginning was created "The Arena" for it was the first ... and out of the wilderness that was Solihull came forward THE SIMMS. His hockey team followed but the Gods of hockey said "thall shall not be allowed to move a club, we do not have franchises in the land of the Premier".
So the Simms created a new team from his own flesh and the family were born. The family became known as "The Steelers" and all believed The Simms in all that he said. "We are the greatest" he told them "We are within the Wage Cap" he told others "We are the family" he told everyone.
Paradise was found within The Arena as the family swept all before them ... but then famine struck and the Steelers were without sustenance. With only hours of life left the family were saved by the warriors known as the CJS Consortium.
But the God known as ISSEL was angry. Who were these warriors .. and why did they go begging with the buckets of a pauper? The God Issel banished the CJS from the Kingdom .... and The Family were angered.
The Simms rallied the family and told them they were to go on a great and just journey to another land ... the Findus world of the BNL. The God Issel laughed as The Simms proclaimed that his family would be happy in their new land, a land awash with victories a plenty.
The land of BNL sent a message welcoming the family ... and The Simms and his disciples set off upon their voyage of discovery. But alas the family were misled and the people of the BNL rejected The Simms, his people and their treasure.
For forty days the family wandered in the wildnerness. But the God Issel took pity upon the Simms and urged him to returneth to The Arena.
The Simms pondered upon the words of Issel. Then called upon his family to remember that God moves in mysterious ways and together they walked back into their spritual home.
The Family rejoiced.